pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
