Cold hands, warm shart.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
