Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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