wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
