He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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