if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize