At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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