you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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