You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Someone signed my nipple.
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