stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
