You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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