WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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