Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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