Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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