Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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