Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You don't make any sense
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