dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
