dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
