Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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