He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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