return my video game
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
