how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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