Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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