I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
