saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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