I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
