the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am available for nakedness
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
