Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
