dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
