sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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