He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
