Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
home. puking in laundry basket.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
