You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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