I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
