Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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