he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
