even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize