My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
