i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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