They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
