i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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