Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
