I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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