Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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