Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize