people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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