Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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