I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
high people should be assigned attendants
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
