..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
