Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
