There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
