I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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