Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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