3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
