That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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