I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
