I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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