I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize