i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
