id be glad to
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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