you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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