yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
