just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
