I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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