4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
love makes seman taste better
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
