Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
