Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
