Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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