South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
